Monday, January 14, 2008

Unrequited Love



Unrequited love is love that is given but not returned. For example, if you were desperately in love with someone but they failed to love you in return, your love would be unrequited.

A Midsummer Night's Dream explores several instances of unrequited love, but the most predominant instance in Act 1 is that of Helena and Demetrius. Is Helena pathetic for pursuing Demetrius so insistently, or can we call her brave? Is better to follow your love, even if your feelings are unreturned? At what point should you back down and give up?

As always, BE SURE TO READ THE OTHER COMMENTS BEFORE POSTING YOUR OWN. PLEASE COMMENT ON OTHERS' COMMENTS AND AVOID REPETITION.

23 comments:

kaseyb said...

I think that unrequited love is surely painful if you are the giver, however it is always good to try it out instead of backing down right away. Though, if you wait for this person for a while and you are compromising yourself, then you should give up and find a new interest. Also, I think that Helena is both pathetic and brave for loving Demetrius so dearly. He is a jerk anyways so I think that in that aspect Helena should give up on him, but also I guess I admire her patience and courage to keep on hurting, even though she is very desperate.

Tabitha said...

Helena knows what she wants, and isn't scared to go for it. One of the bets traits a woman can have. Helena knows that she can't wait around and sit back waiting for things to happen. She knows you have to work for it and go after it. If you ever give up you live with the regret of 'What if'. With Helena's strength and courage Demetrius is a fool and another man will see it in her.

Maria A. said...
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Maria A. said...

I agree on Kasey about having unrequited love being painful to one person that is loving the one person and having the person they love not love you back. Not giving up and just trying it out if you love that person is my opinion and maybe there could be a chance. I think Helena is a brave little bee, going for what she wants. I would call her brave for going for Demetrius even though Demetrius is truly in love with Hermia when Hermia loves Lysander and not Demetrius. The point of giving up and moving on is when the love with the other person gets more personal and you just waited too long and figured out that the other person is not interested. I also agree with Tabitha that Helena knows to just go for it and not wait so long. Later she will see that Demetrius is a jerk and is not worth going after. That will happen with many other unrequited love with other characters as well. Confusion rises through out the love triangles and other love "shapes".

Bandido said...

Unrequited is a very tricky thing because one person’s unrequited love is another person’s psychopathic obsessive stalking. Hey, Ziyi Zhang, why don’t you return any of my calls? Huh? There may be a language barrier but I am pretty sure I understood that restraining order. That hurt me real bad. And I noticed you changed all the windows on your house. They’re metallic and come with electro shocks upon contact. They look great with your place. Not that I would know where you live. But c’mon, just some coffee. Or maybe just quick game of Tetris on Xbox Live?

Anyways, Helena is a magnificent and very skinny person. She is mos def a fool for crushing over American Psycho. But I guess people always want what they can’t have. But just as those people who posted above me have typed, Helena is that cool underdog who everyone secretly roots for. Shakespeare was on top of the underdog thing way before it became the thing in comedies now. But like every person on the face of this planet, he went and sold out. Henry VI part 3, what was he thinking?

So it’s a pretty sweet deal to have this person in your mind who’s just so perfect and hot and mysterious and does not have halitosis. But they don’t really like you that much and at some point you have to go, “Well this person has rejected me about twelve times, I counted, and they call me names and publicly torment me and make me feel self conscience about myself and they take advantage of me because they know I’ll do all of their work for them just to spend some time with them and they hardly ever even talk to me except when they have no one else to talk to and they think they can pass a few minutes by ruining my things and they steal all my things and trip me in the halls and five star me when I am listening to my music and when they rip off my headphones to listen to what I am listening to they mock it and write bad things about me on the bathroom wall and pass notes about me during class and make sure I see the drawings of me all fat and ugly and this person got together with their friends and threw me down and took my cell phone and started prank calling all my loved ones so I have to try to explain to those people that it was not me and I try to not say this person’s name or else I would get them in trouble and they would hate me more, and, and, ooh man.” [breaks down and cries]

Because life isn’t some Hollywood movie. Two people are not going to magically see each other and be in love. One person will like someone for what they think they are. They really have no idea who this person is. They’re just an image of what they want and try to believe this person is what they want. And the person you like is probably not going to notice you, if you they do it’s because they need a companion because all the other kids are getting ones and you will do for now. Only very few people truly love someone who truly loves them back. And a math teacher once told me that love is not real, along with numbers and letters. It’s all just made up. I have no idea where I’m going with this but hopefully the cynic quota is fulfilled for they day. And on that note I end this comment with a comment.
Oh yeah, Nixon for '08!

TraciAnn said...

I agree with both Kasey and tabitha. Helena is pathetic but brave and the same time. Her braveness is a good quialty for her to have. In my opinion i feel that it is better to follow love but at the same time don't just be waiting on that one person. It can be painful to just sit back and watch the person you love be in love with another person. Depending on the chance of actually being with this person in the end should be part of it, like in Helena's situation there was a chance for her because Hermia is in love with someone else. If it is too the point where the whole situation is making you extremely unhappy just give it up cause it is not worth the time.

Keiko A said...

I agree with Kasey when she said that unrequited love is painful, and I also agree with the fact that you shouldn't give up on love right away but if you are chasing a dream that could never happen, then you should just give up and get on with your life. I think that Helena is being pretty pathetic because she knows that Demetrius loves Hermia and plans on marrying her. I think that it would be less pathetic if Demetrius wasn't planning on marrying Hermia, because that way she would probably have a small chance with him.

jenniferb said...

I think Helena is brave for pursuing her love for Demetrious even though he does not return the love. I agree with Tabitha in that she knows what she wants and will go after it. Demetrious is too oblivious to see what is right in front of him. Unrequited love is a very hard feeling to deal with because if you give the love but the other person does not return the love than you feel as if you've been rejected or unwanted.

rachelf said...

I agree with Kasey that unrequited love is a very painful pursuit, and I agree with Traci that Helena is both pathetic and brave at the same time. But I think she is more on the brave side because like Tabitha said she knows what she wants and she will never have to wonder about “what if”. Also like Traci said it depends a lot on if that person has a chance. With Helena she already knows that Demetrius loved her because they had a fling. I think it’s better to follow your love even if that person doesn’t love you back because it’s worth a shot, and you never know what the result will be. Even though it is the bravest thing to do it is also the hardest. I think you should give up when you are constantly miserable because of this person and when nothing progresses and it starts to get in the way of other things.

KaylaL said...

I agree with Kasey and Tabitha. Helena is brave and pathetic at the same time. She does know what she wants and is willing to go for it, but she needs to know when to back off. If I was in her shoes I would try to get Demetrius but after a while I would probably start to give up. I don't know how she could still want him after he was a jerk to her. She is both brave and pathetic.

Whitney C said...

Unrequited love sucks major. I think it is one of the hardest things to deal with. I’m not so sure if I agree with Kasey on the fact that it is always good to try out. Not most people can take the pain that comes with it. But I do understand that if you honestly and deeply love someone that you will not give up on them. Everyone else cannot possibly live of to the expectations as that one person. I guess you could say that in this situation you are definitely blinded by love. No looking past that one person, or no living for that matter

In my opinion I think Helena is foolish for pursuing Demetrius. She is obviously the coolest girl in this book so it’s dumb that Demetrius doesn’t love her. Also on her part, she should not continue to chase him if he’s that lame for not loving her back. If someone acts that way, it is a big red sign saying “turn around and open up your eyes to people around you.” If someone does not love you back, they are obviously not the right person for you so it should be suggested to not continue loving them. Although I do not agree with Helena I give her kudos for taking a stab at it (mainly taking a stab at her heart). I don’t think I would be able to put myself through that kind of pain.

What I just realized though is that no matter what you do in this sort of a situation, you will always be heart; if you stop loving the person you will basically have half a heart to give, but if you continue loving the person but do not receive the love in return then you will have continuous agony for not receiving love. I’m not so sure what the right thing to do would be in this type of situation. I think that it would be different for everybody.

amandab said...

I think that Helena is brave because often when you love someone and they don't love you and you try as hard as you can to get them to feel the same way they end up wanting to get further away from you. I also do think that you should always try, because love doesn't come around to often so when you get the chance you should take that chance. If you don't ever take that chance you are always left not knowing what could have been. If the time comes when the person who you love has made it perfectly clear you should stand down because trying to force it is never a good idea.

mackenzief said...

I really agree with most of the previous comments, everyone thinks almost the same thing, they just say it in their own words. I strongly agree with Kayla too becuse she said that Helena should persue Demitrious, but after a while of pain and suffering she should just give up. Also, I agree with Tabitha and Kasey because they said that she should be admired and she should be looked at as a fool. It takes a lot of courage to keep going after someone for so long when you know you're not getting anything in return. But it might be even harder to just give up if you know he is your one true love.

But some of these posts ramble on soooooooo long that I cant make any sense of them....

TraciAnn said...

This is chelsea...

In my opinion unrequited love can be one of the hardest thing to deal with, especially when you are the one who is in love. I think at some time or another we all will understand what Helena is feeling. I think she is so in love with demitrius it is hard for her to back down and just give up. so i would deffinitly not call her pathetic for loving someone. I think she is just one of those girls that falls pretty fast for a guy, and falls hard. Just because i am one of those girls i know how she feels. I think she is just following her heart and i don't think there is anything wrong with that...or her.

I also think that Demitrius is stupid to not see how amazing Helena really is but then again it is much easier to say that when looking in on the situation so for Helena it could be hard for her to see that she is way to good for him. She might not even believe she is too good for him so she isn't giving up. I think she should move on to a new a better guy but thats easier said then done. I think that if Helena gave up on demitrius it would be when she realized she deserves better.

Allison M. said...

I think unrequited love is one of the most painful and agonizing this to endure. I do not think Helena is pathetic at all for pursuing Demetrius. I would most certainly call Helena brave for wearing her heart on her sleeve and not giving up no matter what the consequences are. I admire her drive and determination, because if you really truly love someone you should give it your all. However, I do agree with Whitney that at some point if that person does not return the love that you so obviously deserve, it is time to move past that person and look someone else for love. Love is most certainly blinding, and I would definitely say that Helena is blinded by Demetrius, and at some point she should realize she deserves someone who will love her back with the same passion and desire that she so willingly loves Demetrius.

Christine said...

I also agree with Kasey because unrequited love is painful for the giver. Helena is in some ways a fool for pursuing Demetrius because he is not being nice about her love to him and tries to avoid her at all costs, in that respect he is a jerk! She needs to wake up and see how he treats her! I think that in other ways she is very brave, she acually goes after what she wants and keeps trying after he continues to reject her. I think Helena could try to possibly continue pursuing Demetrius, though he probably won't ever come around, but still keep her eye open for other canidates.

JordanR said...

I agree with tabitha, Helena is a very strong woman for going after what she wants, and not being afraid that Demetrius won't love her back. When you love someone i don't think that you should ever hide those feelings because you never know what tomorrow could bring. The point when you need to backdown is when you've done and said everything that you can, not to convince them to love you in return, but to show your love for them and if they still feel the same way it's time to let go. At some point you realize that whats meant to be will happen and have to start to make yourself fall out of love with that person, i'm just not sure if Helena has or will ever realize that.

hilary l said...

Helena is very desperate for a man. I think that she loves Demetrius so much because she knows that she can get him somehow. She is brave to pursue him but it does get to a point that it is impossible and will never happen. I think that Helena should go for a different man, I mean I wouldn’t want to stay with a man that is as mean as Demetrius is towards Helena, but I do respect the fact that Helena put a good effort out to get Demetrius.

TylerF said...

I too think that unrequited love is incredibly difficult to deal with, but not something someone should be looked down on for.
I do believe that in most any instances we must call these people who take that chance brave. Love isn’t something that comes easily, nor is it accepted easily. This is what makes it incredibly hard to admit, there is always that fear that you will put everything out there, and end up looking like a fool when they don’t feel the same back. Every aspect of love takes bravery unrequited or not.
However, many do call Helena a fool for going after Demetrius, and in this rare case I agree with them. She has begun to interfere with the lives of not only she and Demetrius, but also many others. In this case almost making her looking purely selfish, and bravery and greed rarely work hand in hand.

Jenna F said...

Unrequited love is something that few can understand properly. Loving someone else but never having them love you in return is one of the most emotionally painful things any person can go through. Love is not taken lightly for some. They fall in love with someone and they automatically assume it’s the person of their dreams. In some cases it can be. Falling in love with someone is like jumping off a cliff and praying that your parachute will work. Unrequited love is the instance in which your parachute fails but you are able to cling to the side of the cliff, the idea that you will climb back to the top of the abyss and make that person fall for you once again. Its painful, its hard and through all your effort there will always be that hope, that chance that you'll make it to the top and the person of your affection will be there, awaiting you.

Helena is brave. More brave than Lysander and Hermia as they face death to run away. More than Robin Goodfellow in his tricks of dangerous nature. More brave than Hippolyta and Theseus in their battles of weapons and armies. Helena jumped over the cliff and clung to the side as her parachute failed but she is slowly creeping up the wall, the fairies helping her along as well as Lysander and Hermia even if it is indirectly. The only thing that remains is whether Demtrius will rise to the challenge, and take Helena as his true love. But there is still a ways to go before Helena can filch his heart, a long way to climb to end the unrequited love that she feels.

I believe in the end there are two paths too take and it all depends on the love interest. If the person loves you back then you live happily ever after with him, a no duh fairy tale situation. If they don’t love you then there are 2 paths, 1) you can remain on the path that is sure to bring you agony and loneliness, if not your doom, 2) you forget them and find someone else despite your devotion to them. Either way it's hard. Either way things will change. It's a decision only one person can make, you.

nathanb said...
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nathanb said...

I agree with the kids that said that love is painful however, I disagree that you should keep trying. It gets to a point where it is just creepy. I think Helena is kind of creepy for stalking Demetrius. She is at the point where it’s just weird. I think it’s obvious when the person tells you they don’t love you.

Travisg said...

I think that i would have to call her brave because it takes a lot to follow someone around like she did and she is vary good at keeping his atention and i think that's all she wants form him right now. she knows that he dosn't love her so she tries to keep his atention. So you could say tht she is just wanting atention